I came out to her and told her that I liked her all in one bawling night. She turned me down, very gently. I was terrible and emotional and I feel so awful because she looked like she felt awful for turning me down because I was upset and if you ever read this, I'm so so sorry for making you feel uncomfortable and  I totally respect your decision and I'm sorry.

Anyways, sometimes I feel fucking fantastic for coming out/telling her.
And then sometimes I don't.

Not sure?