Almost done!

Four more days left of high school. We're in the final stretch!

Visiting my (?) University

I went to visit (again) the university that I'm 99% positive I'm going to go to next year. I'm really excited, and a little nervous. I met some really cool kids today though; they're super funny, very welcoming, and very kind.

Objectivity

Why is it that sometimes I think I can objectively support a point using a personal example, when in all actuality, I can't separate emotions from rationality enough to argue my point?

How long does it take after someone dies before you can talk about it out loud again? (I think I've moved on alright, I really do. I just can't seem to actually say it out loud, straight forward, without skirting around it and saying something like "the time I sang that S McL piece" instead of "when T died." Which is silly, because really, I'm totally fine, and I've come to terms with T, and T's death, and myself. So, why is it that I can't use anything I've learned from that experience as objective fact? I am so frustrated with myself!)

In any case, I cried at school today at a meeting that supposed to be not about me at all, but I accidentally made it about me when I tried using this thing about T as an example supporting my argument... but I never got to deliver the argument because I wimped out because I started crying and got all embarrassed.

This sucks.

But on a brighter note, the meeting went well, as a whole! Next time I will remember to leave all personal examples out of the conversation. Clearly, they are not so helpful at this point in time!

per·func·to·ry

per·func·to·ry

[per-fuhngk-tuh-ree] 

adjective

1. performed merely as a routine duty; hasty and superficial: perfunctory courtesy.
2. lacking interest, care, or enthusiasm; indifferent or apathetic: In his lectures he reveals himself to be merely a perfunctory speaker.

I hope that everything I do in life will be so much more than simply perfunctory. 

Johnlock!

I just had the most amazing Johnlock Omegle roleplay in which Sherlock had just gotten stabbed by one of Moriarty's hitmen post-Reinbach (specifically three years) and texted John anonymously for medical advice, but John deduced that it was Sherlock and rushed over to Lauriston Gardens, where Sherlock was sitting barely conscious in a pool of his own blood, and then they went into an ambulance sent by Mycroft to a private hospital for injured spies, and Sherlock got taken into the ER just after almost confessing his love for John, and meanwhile John was tearing himself apart inside (with Mycroft watching) because of conflicting emotions mostly because he was married to this girl named Rachel whom he only married in a futile and unsuccessful attempt to forget Sherlock and he wasn't sure how to tell Sherlock about her once Sherlock woke up, but when Sherlock woke up, he was well enough to notice that there was a ring around John's finger, and Sherlock was very sad because John had gotten married, but also because Sherlock's re-appearance not only meant that John was now in danger (because everyone in Moriarty's web had been taken down except for Sebastian Moran, Moriarty's lover), but it also meant that Sherlock would have shattered John's marriage, so Sherlock tells John to go home, but John refuses, and tells Sherlock that he can either stay by Sherlock's side in the hospital recovery room quietly, or he'll stay by Sherlock's side after calling Rachel and attempting to salvage the remains of their breaking relationship (breaking because John spends more time thinking about a 'dead' man than thinking about anyone else), and Sherlock is sad, but he tells John that it's really John's choice. 

John leaves the room to make a phone call, and Sherlock assumes that John is going to leave him for Rachel, but when John re-enters the recovery room, his gold ring is no longer on his finger. As it turns out, Rachel broke off the marriage, although John tells Sherlock that he would've broken it off, but she got to it first. Sherlock asks about the two of them, and John describes the desperation he experienced when Sherlock 'died,' and how he married Rachel only because it seemed like he could pretend that he was a different John Watson with her, a John Watson who never knew a Sherlock Holmes, but then things started to fall apart when they married and he was obligated to act for more than hours at a time. Things started to fall apart on their honeymoon, when in the throes of passion, John accidentally slipped the name of someone other than his new wife. Rachel eventually became convinced that John was increasingly mentally unstable, and also possibly cheating on her, leading them to have frequent arguments, etc. Sherlock laughed, upon hearing this story, a bark of a laugh that hurt his injured body. He admitted to John that the men he slept with over the three years didn't appreciate being called 'John' in bed either. Eventually they made a semi-confession of love, all without saying the words 'I love you,' making them relatively not OOC in the typical Sherlokian fashion. 

I am too excited. I'm pretty sure there are countless tense errors in this blog post, but I don't care! I only wish that I saved a log of the conversation to read again and again in my own time! (If I ever get more spare time. Serves me right, I suppose, for indulging in the Sherlock fandom.)

Arguments

My folks are arguing again, and it's Mother's Day. They were so mad on Friday right before prom, and I suppose I was too much of a wimp so I just tried to forget about it and enjoy myself during the dinner, dance, and party. I hope it doesn't get that bad again.

What do I do?

Prom photos

Just saw a photo of my friends and I at prom. My date had just snuck his arm really lightly around my waist, and I'm positively beaming.

Also, our heels have punctured holes into the yard and all the girls are sinking.